Joe Posner's "Cup of Joe"
Pour yourself a cup of joe and pull up a chair.
Cup of Joe #29: The Santa Claus Effect
Welcome back! Did I ever tell you about the Santa Claus Effect? Take a sip
of your hard nog and read on!
About 10 years ago, when my hair and full beard turned grey/white, I first encountered the Santa Claus Effect, and I've experienced it every year since.
It starts around December 1st, getting worse during the week leading up
to Xmas. People, and not just children, act like I'm Santa Claus!
The homeless, who already somehow sense I'm an easy touch, hit me hardest this time of year. And, if I'm in a store, eyeballing gifts, strangers will come up
to me and say, "Don't be cheap, Santa."
Hey, I've got the hair and beard and I'm not exactly skinny. I've even got a little button nose and I CAN be jolly. But, and let me make this clear, I aint Santa Claus!
So, if you see a Santa Claus look-alike, and he's not wearing a red suit or sitting
at the mall with a kid peeing on his leg, leave him alone and keep on walking.
He might not be as jolly as you expect.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about my personal connection to three of the most popular TV spy series of all time? Take a swig of your cup of Joe and read on, friend.
It was the '60s.
The three biggest spy TV shows of the times were "The Man from UNCLE," "I Spy" and "Mission: Impossible."
"The Man from UNCLE" ran from 1964 to 1968 and starred Robert Vaughn and David McCallum.
They shot a "Man from UNCLE" near my house in 1966. It was very cool to see my favorite TV spies driving a jeep up and down a dusty path to the ocean.
"UNCLE," in the '80s spawned a TV movie that was well received. David McCallum can now be seen every week on TV's popular "NCIS."
"I Spy" ran from 1965 to 1968. It starred Robert Culp and Bill Cosby.
I ran into Robert Culp at a writers' typing service in Studio City in the '70s. Culp looked very trim in his jogging suit.
Culp and Cosby made a popular "I Spy" TV movie in the '90s. More recently, Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson didn't make much of an impression in the "I Spy" feature film.
'Mission: Impossible" ran from 1966 to 1973. At one time or another, the variable cast included: Steven Hill, Peter Graves, Martin Landau, Barbara Bain, Greg Morris and Peter Lupus, among others. Leonard Nimoy joined the cast in 1969, following the cancellation of "Star Trek." Good move.
In 1969, I watched Nimoy perform a scene for the original "Star Trek," at Paramount Studios.
"Mission: Impossible" generated a remake series in the '80s, also with Peter Graves. Two hit feature films followed. A third is in the works.
As usual, if you disagree with any of the opinions expressed here, the Web Master will disavow any knowledge of this column. This blog will self destruct in 10 seconds...
Sssssssssssssssssssssss!
Have a great week!
Joe Posner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about the time I spent at Hell House? Take a swig of your Flashback Java and read on, friend.
It was 1973/74. "The Paper Chase" was at the movies. "Kojack" and "McCloud" were on TV. Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle" and Art Garfunkle's "All I Know" were on the radio.
After I finished up USC film school in 1973, my supportive father agreed to sponsor my budding writing career for eight months, in the hopes that I would(somehow) break into TV or the movies as a writer.
As a result, in September 1973 I moved into a former Victorian mansion on Adams Ave, one street up from USC's fraternity row.
The mansion had been converted into a number of apartments, with the shower down the hall. I dubbed the mansion Hell House, based on a popular haunted house movie, "The Legend of Hell House," which was out at the time. The rent was 80 dollars per month!
My Hell House follow residents included: an old drunk who had attended USC many decades before; a tall, balding music grad student with a really hot girlfriend; Jimmy, a young, prematurely cynical kid from Cocoa Beach, Florida.
In those days before personal computers, my writing equipment included an ancient, Underwood manual typewriter and some yellow legal pads. Instead of the Internet, I would phone the library and ask the research department questions.
I focused primarily on TV writing. I wrote story treatments for "Kolchak: The Nightstalker" and "Harry O." I also wrote treatments for a spooky movie of the week, "Doctor Lazarus," and a horror feature film called "Convent of Hell."
Through a friend of my father's from the Writer's Guild, I got a literary agent who submitted my material to Hollywood.
I must have cut a striking figure in the day. My counterculture wardrobe included white Adidas, blue jeans, blue work shirt and a brown corduroy blazer, all topped off by a black, felt bowler hat. The fact that I wore this "costume" to several Hollywood meetings is still a source of some chagrin to me, all these years later.
Ultimately, I struck out with all my TV and film submissions. Ouch! I don't know if it was my material, my look, or both. I guess I'll never know.
All these year later, I still think back to the Hell House days, every now and then. I wonder what might have happened if I HAD broken into Hollywood screenwriting during this time period.
Would I have enjoyed it?
Would I have gotten that Malibu beach house I wanted so much at the time.
Would I have been able to hang on to the house, and my Hollywood writing career?
Where would I be now? I wonder...
Have a great week.
Joe Posner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about my childhood pet, Lulu?
Pour yourself a cup o' Joe and read on, friend.
The year was 1954. Elvis ruled! Only hoods and cops wore leather jackets. Teen pregnancy was at an all time high.
Lulu, a pure bred small beagle, showed up at my house on October 31, 1954. My first memories of her are related to a Halloween party.
My parents decided to host a Halloween party for me and my brother. I wore an Indian headdress with a jillion feathers.
Dad came in and showed me little Lulu. I took to her right from the start. It was a love at first sight kind of thing.
Some time later, Lulu was discovered in the basement, clutching my formerly glorious headdress, which was pretty well munched on by then.
Although I liked the headdress a lot, I wasn't mad at Lulu. I loved Lulu.
Charlie Brown had Snoopy; Superboy had Krypto; I had Lulu.
Although I had a few friends growing up, LuIu was my best pal. She loved it when I walked her and so did I.
Lulu loved to go in cars. I guess you could call her born to ride. When we moved to California, Lulu moved too.
Although she was getting older, Lulu enjoyed going down the dirt path to the ocean with me. In her excitement, at the sight and sound of the shrieking seagulls circling overhead and the surf crashing nearby, she almost seemed young again. Those are prized memories
Lulu took ill in 1964. She was simply all worn out. I locked myself in the bathroom when they took Lulu away to be put down. I cried my eyes out, not understanding why I was the only one who was upset about Lulu's passing.
*****
I have had other pets since and loved them, but never quite as much as I loved Lulu.
Hug your pet(s) and have a great week!
Joe Posner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Hope you had a great summer.
Did I ever tell you about the time I went to New Orleans, Louisiana? Take a swig of your Flashback Java and read on, friend.
The year was 1993. Bush 1 was president. Adidas tennis shoes were making a come back. "Seinfeld" ruled the TV ratings.
My old high school buddy and business partner, Carl Simms, and I were traveling around the country on a train, shooting both industrial videos as well as comedy bits for a planned straight-to-home video project. Our stops included Chicago(briefly), New York, New Orleans, and Washington D.C.
In September, our train rolled into New Orleans. We were scheduled for a four day stay. Wishing to get a taste of the famed party town, we booked a room in a hotel on Bourbon Street in the historic French Quarter.
The town, with its splendid, wrought iron architecture, was the locale for Tennessee William's explosive play and movie, "A Streetcar Named Desire." The city actually once had a street car named Desire, but, alas, no more.
For several days, Carl and I shot video for Black Dog, a tech company that had come up with some elaborate medical diagnostic software. As usual, Carl manned the camera while I handled sound.
After three days, Carl came down with an ailment related to some bad seafood. While he was laid up in bed for several days, I got a chance to explore the French Quarter, solo.
I had drinks at the Old Absinthe, a Bourbon Street bar so old its former patrons included Edgar Allan Poe and Robert Louis Stevenson. As a small combo played "Route 66," I enjoyed my drink, as well as the atmosphere of the old, black-bricked bar.
New Orleans is the birthplace of jazz. For the price of a drink, you can experience every kind of jazz there is: dixieland, gut bucket, etc. at the town's colorful bars and clubs
Although New Orleans' seafood is incredible, my work partner's experience notwithstanding, my favorite meal was red beans and rice, prepared in that unique, Big Easy style.
Too soon, Carl was back on his feet and we spent the last few days at Black Dog, finishing up the video shoot.
********
Hurricane Katrina's deadly rampage through New Orleans recently brought up bittersweet memories of my trip there long ago.
Miraculously, the French Quarter remained largely untouched by the storm's devastation
Unlike the fabled Atlantis, may New Orleans once again rise above the water, reclaiming its spot as a glittering jewel in the crown of the South.
Have a great week!
Joe Posner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you that "Cup of Joe" was going on vacation? Take a small swig of YOUR cup of joe and read on, friend.
"Cup of Joe" is taking the summer off. I'll be spending the time working on two books: one non-fiction, the other fiction.
Thank you, my regular visitors, who keep coming back for another "Cup of Joe."
Have a great summer! See you in September.
Joe Posner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you that I think I've found the "late" lead singer for The Doors, Jim Morrison, alive and living in Los Angeles? Take a swig of your Flashback Java and read on, friend.
The year was 1998. Bill Clinton was president. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was a TV hit. Cher was making another comeback. "Titanic" was packing them in at the movies.
I was living in West Covina when I got a freelance writing assignment, for a now defunct magazine, to interview an LA artist, a well known outdoor muralist.
One of his most famous LA murals is a huge portrait of Jim Morrison. It went up shortly before Oliver Stone's "The Doors" film came out in 1991.
The artist invited me into his home, made me fresh coffee and gave me a great interview.
For a year after the interview, something stuck in my mind. There was something oddly familiar about this man, although I never had met him before.
Then something came to me.
I put photos of the artist and Morrison side by side. Although they weren't a perfect match, they were close. He was also about the right age and height.
In 1999, I decided to confront the artist.
I went to the location of his then current mural. After some small talk, I asked him, point blank, "Are you Jim Morrison?"
Without hesitating, the artist crisply replied,"I don't have the face, but I have some things in common with him."
I don't know about you, but I do not consider that a categorical denial.
Oddly, he was neither surprised nor offended at my "outrageous" query.
Six years have now passed.
Before this year is up, I intend to get the artist's fingerprints.
Morrison's are on file because of a Florida arrest for indecency.
I'll keep you posted.
Have a great week!
Joe Posner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about my thing for Batman? Take a sip of your Bat Java and read on, friend.
You know how I explained that Superman was my favorite comic book hero as a kid? Well, Batman was number two!
Although Batman and Superman both came from DC comics, they were very different: Superman was bright and light. Many scenes took place in the day time.
Batman, however, was dark and gloomy. Filled with blacks and blues, many scenes took place at night.
Batman, created by Bob Kane, had a lot going for him:
..... A cool costume
..... The Batmobile
..... Cool gadgets
..... The Bat Cave
..... A great house
..... A cool butler
..... A suave, alter ego, as Bruce Wayne, rich dude about town.
In the 1960's the "Batman" TV series took off like a rocket. I watched, but would have preferred a more serious, less spoofy show.
I got my wish in 1989, when "Batman" debuted. Michael Keaton was surprisingly good as Batman, although Jack Nicholson's Joker stole the show.
Three Batman movies followed, with revolving Batmans and varying levels of quality.
The fourth, "Batman and Robin," was a flop. A miscast George Clooney later joked that he had "killed" the franchise.
A new Batman movie, "Batman Begins," has recently debuted.
The reviews are good, for this new, darker take on the Batman legend.
I'll be going, when I'm not busy fighting crime in Gotham City
Have a great week!
Joeposner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about my Superman connection? Take a swig of your Kryptonian coffee and read on, friend.
When I was a kid in Cincinnati, Ohio, in the '50s and early '60s, I was a huge comic fan. I read The Flash, Green Lantern, The Hulk, Green Arrow, Batman and many others.
My favorite, however, was Superman.
Maybe it was because I had glasses, like Clark Kent.
Perhaps it was because I was adopted, like Superman, although my home "planet" was called Cleveland, not Krypton.
Oddly enough, Superman was created by two high school students in Cleveland, Ohio, in the '30s.
Naturally, I was a big fan of "The Adventures of Superman" TV series, starring George Reeves, which ran from 1953-1955.
The fact that Reeves didn't much resemble his comic book counterpart threw me a little as a kid, but not enough to interfere with my enjoyment of the show.
My connection with Superman has continued over the years ...
Like Superman/Clark Kent, I have been a mild mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper: The Los Angeles Times.
Clark Kent's newspaper, The Daily Planet, was represented by exterior shots of LA's famous City Hall: I worked there, answering letters and writing speeches for Mayor Tom Bradley, in 1977-1978.
I saw all four "Superman" movies, starring Christopher Reeve, loving #1 and #2.
I watch "Smallville," on the WB, every week.
I have a Superman t-shirt in my closet and two Superman statues on my writing desk.
I consider my home office my Fortress of Solitude.
Uh-oh.
Lois Lane is in trouble.
Gotta fly.
Have a great week!
Joe Posner
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about the time I met Rose Kennedy, President John F. Kennedy's mother? Take a swig of your Camelot Coffee and drink on, friend.
The year was 1968. "Star Trek "and "Batman" were on TV. College students across the nation were experimenting with free love and social protest, sometimes at the same time. L.B.J. was president.
I was junior in high school, our sprawling, red-tiled campus only a block away from the sparkling Pacific Ocean. Talk about paradise.
I had American history. I loved history and it loved me. As a result, I was one of the better history students in Southern California.
One day, I was invited to meet Rose Kennedy, along with a select group of Southern California's top history scholars. I was stoked!
My parents were hardcore democrats. We were a pro-Kennedy family. My older brother wore an "If I was 21, I'd vote for Kennedy" button in 1960. Get the picture?
My parents were proud of me. I was feeling pretty good about myself.
Soon, the much anticipated afternoon arrived. I dressed in my best threads. I wasn't exactly Robert Wagner, but I was looking pretty slick.
A bus took us history aces scholars to the top of the hill to a mansion, for tea and a reception with Rose Kennedy.
After a tea and some very highbrow snacks, the scholars lined up to meet Mrs. Kennedy.
It was a warm day. I was nervous, as usual. Soon it was my turn...
Rose Kennedy, small but not quite Yodaish, congratulated my for my achievements in American history. She grasped my hand. She emanated a great power about her, a tremendous life energy.
She spoke of the importance of knowing about America's great history. She urged me to continue with my history studies.
Too soon, my time with Rose was over and I was out in the garden, mixing with the other history aces. The scent of eucalyptus and the shriek of peacocks were in the air.
I've met mayors, governors and princes, as well as a sampling of show biz royalty. None transmitted the tremendous strength and energy that poured from Rose Kennedy. She truly was the blast furnace that fueled the Kennedy dynasty.
Looking back, I'm glad for the moments in the sun I shared with Mrs. Kennedy.
Have a great week!
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about the time I met David Janssen, star of classic TV shows like "The Fugitive" and "Harry O"? Take a slurp of your Flashback Java and read on, friend.
The year was 1974. Nixon was president. "Harry O" and "The Rockford Files" were on TV. "Death Wish", with Charles Bronson, was a huge hit at the movies.
I was trying to break into TV writing. Having struck out with "Kolchak: The Night Stalker", I turned my attention to "Harry O," starring David Janssen.
I had written a 20 page TV story treatment titled "Glide Path," partially based on the disappearance of my friend Rick Carter.
When it came back, rejected, I wouldn't take no for an answer. You see, I was the determined, aspiring writer type.
I had read an article in TV guide about "Harry O" series creator Howard Rodman, who had contributed to such landmark TV series such as "The Naked City," among many others. He sounded like a real guy, someone I could talk to.
I decided I needed to meet with Rodman and show him my story. If HE said my story wasn't right for his series, I would accept that and move on.
Of course, I figured he'd like "Glide Path." One problem with my Rodman plan was that I had no way to get hold of him.
Then I got inspired. I called the "Harry O" production offices at Warner Bros. studios and talked a secretary into giving me Howard Rodman's home phone number.
Eventually, I got up the courage to dial the number. Talking a mile a minute, I somehow got Rodman to agree to meet with me and read my story.
I met Howard at his house on a Saturday. He made blueberry pancakes. After we ate, he read my story. After explaining why it was rejected, he made useful suggestions on how to improve it, with an eye toward resubmission.
I decided I had to meet series star David Janssen. Joyce Haber's popular gossip column mentioned that Janseen liked to hold court on the weekend at The Daisy, a hip club on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.
I went to The Daisy. Janssen, well tanned and wearing gold aviator framed sunglasses, was at an outside table with friends.
After several VERY expensive drinks, I went to his table. My heart was beating fast. Not knowing what to say, I blurted, "Howard Rodman says hi." Janssen didn't know me from Adam, but he was pleasant and charming nonetheless. Then I split.
I went home on a natural high. Making the changes, I resubmitted my TV story to "Harry O."
I few weeks later, Executive Producer Jerry Thorpe invited me to Warner Bros. to meet with him.
I was jazzed. My TV writing career was about to begin.
Arriving at the Warner's lot, the security guard directed me to the "Harry O" production offices. When I arrived, Rodman was in the outer office. He wished me luck.
Soon, I was ushered into Thorpe's spacious office. The meeting was short and brutal. Thorpe was pissed and loud. My story had already been turned down. He didn't understand why I had been encouraged to resubmit it. My mention of Howard's name didn't help any.
Back in the outer office, Rodman gave me a sympathetic look as I hurriedly exited.
A short time later, Howard Rodman left the series. Whether it had anything to do with his involvement with my rewrite fiasco, I'll never know.
Have a great week!
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about the time I met "Artemus Gordon"? Take another swig of your Flashback Java and read on, friend.
The year was 1966. Slip-ons were cool. "Star Trek" was on TV. Lyndon Baines Johnson was president. The Beatles were on the radio, as were The Rolling Stones and The Who.
My father, an ace public relations man, arranged to have popular actor Ross Martin speak at a charity event he was promoting.
When I heard Dad mention Ross Martin, I almost fainted. Ross Martin, "Artemus Gordon" from the wildly popular Western series, "The Wild, Wild West!"
Wow!
A little back story, if you please... In the 60s, "Wild, Wild West" was a hit TV show, particularly with teens. The show's creators had managed to meld James Bond and the Western. Somehow, it worked.
Muscular and feisty Robert Conrad was, technically, the lead character as "James West." Many fans, however, favored second lead Ross Martin as Artemus Gordon: charmer of the ladies, master of disguise, all around cool dude.
I was in the Artemus Gordon/Ross Martin camp. As a result, I pleaded with my influential Dad for an opportunity to meet a genuine TV god.
Being a pretty cool dude himself, Dad agreed.
Finally, the night arrived. Dad had a suit on. I was well dressed too: maroon sports jacket, white shirt, thin tie, black slacks, highly polished black slip-ons. Young Joe Posner was dressed up and stepping out.
Dad and I arrived at the charity event 30-40 minutes early. Many of the attendees were already seated in the auditorium. Dad was positioned at the front door.
I was 70-80 red carpeted feet away, standing near the auditorium entrance.
At about ten till, Ross Martin arrived. Well dressed like Artemus Gordon, he and Dad did a grin and greet as they quickly walked in my direction.
In moments, they reached my position.
They stopped, and Dad introduced me to Ross Martin. From what seemed like a great height (I was only five-feet something) Martin smiled and shook my hand.
Then Martin was gone, entering the auditorium with warmth, charm and confidence.
Before WE entered the auditorium, Dad turned and winked at me. It was his trademark move. I grinned back and we entered the hall together.
"The Wild, Wild West" ran from 1965 to 1969. Two reunion TV movies ran as well.
Ross Martin, who suffered from heart problems, passed away in 1981.
My moment with a TV god, those many years ago, was short but sweet.
Rest in Peace,
ROSS MARTIN (1920-1981)
Have a great week.
joeposner@earthlink.net
by Joe Posner
Welcome back!
Did I ever tell you about the first time I saw the original "Star Wars?" Take a sip of your Jedi Java and read on, friend.
The year was 1977. Jimmy Carter was president. "MASH" and "The Waltons" were TV hits. Farrah Fawcett was a superstar. Mustaches, on men, were cool. Disco was huge.
I was working in downtown LA in the Pointy Building(City Hall), while living with my old college buddy, Ted Kaplan, in North Hollywood.
I was an introverted speech writer/lackey for the Mayor. Ted was a hyperactive Junior Agent at the famous William Morris talent agency. We weren't exactly "The Odd Couple," but it was close.
One day Ted insisted we had to go to Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood and see this new film called "Star Wars." I didn't know much about the film, besides it being science fiction, but the word of mouth was fantastic.
At this point, "Star Wars" had been out for about a week.
Arriving on a Friday or Saturday night, the line outside Grauman's was HUGE. Buying our tickets, we got in line, which ran down the block and around the corner. While those of us in line didn't know a generation-defining experience awaited us, we were expecting something big.
Eventually, they let us in. The crowd surged forward.
Skipping the snack bar, we quickly entered the giant theater. The theater was almost full. We managed to get two seats together near the back.
The excitement and anticipation in the theater was the kind I've rarely experienced before or since. It's like we were in an ancient temple, waiting for the gods to appear.
Eventually, the lights dimmed and the film began. Following the now famous story crawl, setting up the movie to follow, a giant spaceship appeared on the screen, passing overhead.
It was HUGE. The crowd roared with delight.
I was glued to the screen, I'd seen great science fiction films before, like "Forbidden Planet," "The Time Machine," and "2001: A Space Odyssey," but never one like this.
It's as though Lucas, in his genius, has reached into our collective unconscious and come up with a science fiction film we'd always dreamed of, but never seen before on the big screen.
At the end of the film, when Luke and the others received their medals, the whole audience erupted in thunderous applause.
As the end credits began, accompanied by John Williams' classic score, I turned to Ted. "When can we see this again?" I inquired breathlessly.
Have a great week!
joeposner@earthlink.net